“Don’t do that at the dinner table son!” I can remember statements like that being said by both of my parents when I was growing up. The dinner table, the place where the meal is had and has always been a place of high regard both in ancient near east cultures as well as in the westernized cultures. However do we regard the dinner table as valuable, from a Hebraic point of view?

In Bible times the Hebrew people would invite someone over to their home for a meal. This was significant. Why? In the Hebrew you sat down and ate with folks to negotiate lots of very important matters. Heads of families met to discuss the terms of a Ketubah (wedding contract). Families met to discuss repayment of debts or many other matters.

The dinner table is not just a table for eating. In the Hebraic understanding it is a place where communion is made between a family that has truly chosen to walk in His ways and their Creator (YHWH). It is a place where the family fellowships together as well. So in short it is a place for family, faith and fellowship. As we consider the blessings that Abba has provided for each of us we lift the cup and recite a thanksgiving blessing “Blessed are you, YHWH our Elohim King of the Universe who has given us the Fruit of the vine.” We then likewise acknowledge our plates or lift our bread (Challah on Friday nights) and say, “Blessed are you YHWH our Elohim King of the Universe who has blessed us with all manner of food (or the Bread of the earth).” As we sit and enjoy the blessings of what Abba has given we know that we are truly blessed to have our family. We also know it is important what we eat and what we take into our bodies because this table of family, faith and fellowship also has the spiritual understanding which is the table of sacrifice. In other words something had to die that we might live and be nourished. This is why we eat only what YHWH has prescribed at the table and not other things that He has not. We are communing with the most High. It is a point that must not be forgotten.

In this modern era we have gotten away from this precious thing called the dinner table. We have replaced the dinner table with the couch and the den. Some families only eat together during special occasions and yet and still some families never eat together. Eating together brings peace, unity and blessings to the home.

Never

Often time folks come to the dinner table with all sorts of emotions that have been carried from previous places. Sibling arguments, disruptive phone calls as well as many other things. We have a rule at our home called “Go wash for dinner.” In the “Go wash” There is a chance for each person to not only wash their hands but to also wash their hearts. I remind our family, you are not just coming to eat, “You are coming to meet!” We should approach the table with thanksgiving and adoration and not with selfishness and personal issues. We also have several rules at the dinner table. One that I will share with you is “No arguing at the dinner table.” As stated we have to remember how special this place is. If we are sitting at the feet of the King, there is NO need to be arguing or fussing. That is exactly the heart we should have when coming to the table. Also, no video games or texting or phones at the table. This helps to reinforce the mood.

Always

We always strive to discuss things that edify and encourage at the table. Oftentimes one of the children will begin telling a story that the other children will join in and finish. Everyone enjoys his or her time at the table. It makes it a place that they look forward to coming to.

Please, if you haven’t, recommit to the dinner table. Eat there as mush as you possibly can with your family and know that Abba loves when you bless Him before the meal, during the meal and after the meal.

Now is the time of year where we traditionally declare war on the things that are piled up and unused in our homes. We throw away old things, give to charity and in general consolidate. We also get busy and clean our homes. We do the type of cleaning that is not typically done during the winter. The deep scrubs to the carpet, the window detail (everyone hates cleaning windows) we scrub, scrub and scrub the areas that need the most attention.

But what are we doing when it comes to “spring cleaning” with our wives? Are you content that you have just done what you “think” you were supposed to do? Or are you cleaning up your home (your behavior) so that you can have an even more fruitful crop of peace in your home? Are you focusing on loving and being the type of servant in your home that Yeshua the Master is to us? Are you finding joy in taking out the garbage and doing the dishes, even after a really tough day at the office? Are you doing any spring cleaning? Are you focused on the meticulous details of mercy and truth in your home that will elevate your relationship with your wife to the next level?

Just know this; everything that we do that is considered mundane has a very deep spiritual significance in Hashem’s eyes. When you take a look at your relationship with your wife, what thing can you do that would be a “deep clean?” What would be the equivalent of scrubbing the floors? Or what would be the equivalent of cleaning the gutters or scrubbing and finishing the baseboards? Are you doing the hard work, or are you just maintaining?

Remember when you are just maintaining in your relationship with your wife you are not increasing the relationship performance? In other words, you are not bringing any more shalom into your home. Consider in the world of shalom that there are no limits. Just like there are no limits in YHWH. You can continue to grow. This should be our attitude when we look at our relationships with our wives.

As an exercise of “deep cleaning;” allow me to suggest three things to you that will enhance the relationship with your wife, thus increasing shalom in the home:

• Don’t complain - When we complain to our wives about anything, even outside experiences that we have had, we are not truly complaining about the people that we think are at the root of our problem. We are really complaining against YHWH. Why? Because Romans 8:28 says that G-d causes all things to work together for the good …. So we should be looking to YHWH and praying to him about our concerns and not complaining and especially bringing things home to our wives. Consider that if we are doing spring cleaning, how crazy would it be to bring in more junk and dust into our homes? Likewise we should not be bringing complaints and gripes to our wives. We should take all of our concerns to YAH in prayer.
  
  
• Take notes - We should be looking and studying our wives and know what their likes and dislikes are. When we limit our complaints and then add the spring cleaning utensil of taking notes, we become most effective in our execution of gifts and words. This makes your wife know that you care. You are interested in her well being and you are bringing the right tools to the job. Liken your wife’s complaints to idea that the driveway is full of oil smudges and she has been mentioning it for several weeks. If she comes home and you have torn out the entire driveway to remove the smudges she will know what you lack the discernment needed to make her happy. But, if you quickly with joy remove the oil when you can, she will see that you care about her concerns and are occupied with quality of her well being.
  
  
• Give her some time - Spend some time (quality time) listening to our wife. Give her the type of time that is uninterrupted with noise or phones ringing. Take your time with her and actually inquire about her day. Make her know that you just want to listen. Don’t go to ‘fix it’ mode when she begins to open up. Just listen and make sure she knows you care. You, listening to your wife and seeding quality time with her is most important to the overall vitality of the relationship.

Spend some time in these steps and I assure you that your relationship with Yah will grow AND you will definitely increase the level of shalom in the home.

Blessings to you and shalom to your home!