Did you realize that some couples get married and their intimacy becomes almost non-existent? Couples often site jobs, children and other external stresses as the chief reason for the lack of closeness with their loved one. Did you know that some who are learning more about the ancient pathways and their newfound spiritual insights even blame their “deepness” in the Scriptures as sufficient justification for marital intimacy? In this blog I won’t cover all of the reasons why I feel that this is a really serious problem but I will touch a few of the big ones.
#1 Excuses, Excuses Each one of us does indeed go through periods in our lives where we become busier and more focused on certain projects and tasks. These times are usually temporary so they don’t cause us to lose the most important connection that we have on this earth, which is the one we have with our spouse. Would any of you go for a week without taking a shower? How about eating? How about taking a random week off from driving or using transportation? Of course not! And if we would not take off from these mundane things how much more should we neglect the love of our lives? We should remember to do the things that will make our spouses smile. They are our special gifts, don’t forget it.
How can you overcome this? You can stay in touch with your husband/wife while you are working hard on that project or special task. Send them a message by occasionally letting them know that you miss them. Let them know how special you think they are and that you cant wait to see them or to get back on that routine that will allow you to spend the time that so desire.
#2 Not just sex Intimacy is NOT sex! Hopefully you didn’t get married because of your desire to have good sex? We don’t marry just for that. You marry because you truly believe that they complete you. You marry your best friend (at least this should be true). You are joining the one that completes you. You are entering a covenant; one that joins you to Yahweh your creator and to your husband/wife for life. Sometimes the sex part of your intimacy goes flat and that might leave you wondering if you are even appealing to your husband /wife anymore? Well rest assured; it’s not just about sex. Think back to the last time when things were good between you and yours? As you consider that time ask yourself, what was going on in your life at that time? What was going on in their life at that time? Really think about it. Now, compare it to where you are right now. Do a personal assessment. Make the adjustment. Focus on your personal commitment to Yahweh and to your spouse.
Take action Now that you have done a little troubleshooting, get busy! Start with some of the small things that will create passion and rekindle those flames that were once there. This is in no wise a complete thought on this subject. Due to the time, space and the sensitive nature of this topic we are just scratching the surface.
Starting in January 2012 ConfrontNation will be offering relationship coaching for single people as well as married folks. Marital Coaching will be on a per appointment basis and is designed to help couples make practical application of the scriptures in their relationships. Stay tuned for this and please give us a call if you have any questions about this exciting program.
Listen to the podcast titled “Integrity leads to intimacy” on
ConfrontNation.com for more.