Did you realize that some couples get married and their intimacy becomes almost non-existent? Couples often site jobs, children and other external stresses as the chief reason for the lack of closeness with their loved one. Did you know that some who are learning more about the ancient pathways and their newfound spiritual insights even blame their “deepness” in the Scriptures as sufficient justification for marital intimacy? In this blog I won’t cover all of the reasons why I feel that this is a really serious problem but I will touch a few of the big ones.

#1 Excuses, Excuses

Each one of us does indeed go through periods in our lives where we become busier and more focused on certain projects and tasks. These times are usually temporary so they don’t cause us to lose the most important connection that we have on this earth, which is the one we have with our spouse. Would any of you go for a week without taking a shower? How about eating? How about taking a random week off from driving or using transportation? Of course not! And if we would not take off from these mundane things how much more should we neglect the love of our lives? We should remember to do the things that will make our spouses smile. They are our special gifts, don’t forget it.

How can you overcome this?

You can stay in touch with your husband/wife while you are working hard on that project or special task. Send them a message by occasionally letting them know that you miss them. Let them know how special you think they are and that you cant wait to see them or to get back on that routine that will allow you to spend the time that so desire.

#2 Not just sex

Intimacy is NOT sex! Hopefully you didn’t get married because of your desire to have good sex? We don’t marry just for that. You marry because you truly believe that they complete you. You marry your best friend (at least this should be true). You are joining the one that completes you. You are entering a covenant; one that joins you to Yahweh your creator and to your husband/wife for life. Sometimes the sex part of your intimacy goes flat and that might leave you wondering if you are even appealing to your husband /wife anymore? Well rest assured; it’s not just about sex. Think back to the last time when things were good between you and yours? As you consider that time ask yourself, what was going on in your life at that time? What was going on in their life at that time? Really think about it. Now, compare it to where you are right now. Do a personal assessment. Make the adjustment. Focus on your personal commitment to Yahweh and to your spouse.

Take action

Now that you have done a little troubleshooting, get busy! Start with some of the small things that will create passion and rekindle those flames that were once there. This is in no wise a complete thought on this subject. Due to the time, space and the sensitive nature of this topic we are just scratching the surface.

Starting in January 2012 ConfrontNation will be offering relationship coaching for single people as well as married folks. Marital Coaching will be on a per appointment basis and is designed to help couples make practical application of the scriptures in their relationships. Stay tuned for this and please give us a call if you have any questions about this exciting program.

Listen to the podcast titled “Integrity leads to intimacy” on ConfrontNation.com for more.

“Don’t do that at the dinner table son!” I can remember statements like that being said by both of my parents when I was growing up. The dinner table, the place where the meal is had and has always been a place of high regard both in ancient near east cultures as well as in the westernized cultures. However do we regard the dinner table as valuable, from a Hebraic point of view?

In Bible times the Hebrew people would invite someone over to their home for a meal. This was significant. Why? In the Hebrew you sat down and ate with folks to negotiate lots of very important matters. Heads of families met to discuss the terms of a Ketubah (wedding contract). Families met to discuss repayment of debts or many other matters.

The dinner table is not just a table for eating. In the Hebraic understanding it is a place where communion is made between a family that has truly chosen to walk in His ways and their Creator (YHWH). It is a place where the family fellowships together as well. So in short it is a place for family, faith and fellowship. As we consider the blessings that Abba has provided for each of us we lift the cup and recite a thanksgiving blessing “Blessed are you, YHWH our Elohim King of the Universe who has given us the Fruit of the vine.” We then likewise acknowledge our plates or lift our bread (Challah on Friday nights) and say, “Blessed are you YHWH our Elohim King of the Universe who has blessed us with all manner of food (or the Bread of the earth).” As we sit and enjoy the blessings of what Abba has given we know that we are truly blessed to have our family. We also know it is important what we eat and what we take into our bodies because this table of family, faith and fellowship also has the spiritual understanding which is the table of sacrifice. In other words something had to die that we might live and be nourished. This is why we eat only what YHWH has prescribed at the table and not other things that He has not. We are communing with the most High. It is a point that must not be forgotten.

In this modern era we have gotten away from this precious thing called the dinner table. We have replaced the dinner table with the couch and the den. Some families only eat together during special occasions and yet and still some families never eat together. Eating together brings peace, unity and blessings to the home.

Never

Often time folks come to the dinner table with all sorts of emotions that have been carried from previous places. Sibling arguments, disruptive phone calls as well as many other things. We have a rule at our home called “Go wash for dinner.” In the “Go wash” There is a chance for each person to not only wash their hands but to also wash their hearts. I remind our family, you are not just coming to eat, “You are coming to meet!” We should approach the table with thanksgiving and adoration and not with selfishness and personal issues. We also have several rules at the dinner table. One that I will share with you is “No arguing at the dinner table.” As stated we have to remember how special this place is. If we are sitting at the feet of the King, there is NO need to be arguing or fussing. That is exactly the heart we should have when coming to the table. Also, no video games or texting or phones at the table. This helps to reinforce the mood.

Always

We always strive to discuss things that edify and encourage at the table. Oftentimes one of the children will begin telling a story that the other children will join in and finish. Everyone enjoys his or her time at the table. It makes it a place that they look forward to coming to.

Please, if you haven’t, recommit to the dinner table. Eat there as mush as you possibly can with your family and know that Abba loves when you bless Him before the meal, during the meal and after the meal.